Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective creators. The LIAC concept was conceived by Tae and Sae.

Pre-Cosplay Nightmare

By Angela and Geraldine Cheong
10th December 1999

Karasu: HAhhahahahaa!!!!!!! Did you see that? Dumb!!! Stupidity to the max! Imbeciles...

Kazunari: Be nice, we're living under their roof.

Hotohori: I'm thanking my lucky starts they didn't decide to go as me. I can't bear to think of how far my reputation as the world's most bishounen bishounen will slither down the ranks.

Enishi: Not very much really. Take Kazu here, he's already more bishonen then you are. Besides, you don't really have a reputation do you? I mean... falling for Miaka....

Hotohori: WHAT?! Take that back you little brat!

Enishi: 'Brat'? I think we're about the same age... punk...

A cloud of dust ensues.

Kazunari: Erm... when did Enishi start reading 'Fushigi Yuugi'?

Aya: Just. I found him hiding in the toilet with volume ? in his hands and tears in his eyes. (Note: Volume ? is the book in which Nuriko died...)

Hotohori: What's wrong with reading my autobiography?

Karasu: Your autobiography? I think not.

Karasu peeps out at  Sano...

Karasu: ~sniggers~ Hey! Dig that!

Enishi: What? If they're going to the cosplay as my dear sweet brother-in-law, I'll run them thorugh with my trusty...

Karasu: ~splutters~


Ensihi: What what?!

Hotohori: Sano's ransacking her mum's cupboard.

Sano: ~maniacal laughter in the background~

Kazunari: Poor Ru-chan... It's just 2 more days to the cosplay and she still hasn't really decided who she should go as.

Rurouni: Argh!!!! Who should I go as? Black Tiger? Fuuko?

Sano: ~maniacal laughter in the background~

All LIACs sweatdrop.

Enishi: Frankly speaking, I find this whole idea distasteful and utterly revolting. Isn't dressing up for kids?!

Karasu: They've lost it. We're gonna be sent back to the LIAC bureau on the account that our owners are incapable of taking care of us now that they've gone nuts.

Kazunari: Aren't you all overreacting just a little bit? It's all in good fun.

Enishi and Karasu: You call dressing up like us, anime characters, 'good fun'?!

Enishi: Those clowns will ruin our image!

Hotohori: I'll have to agree with those two... for a change.

Aya: ...

Kazunari, outnumbered at least three to one (excluding Aya) begins to back away slowly.

Kazunari: Umm... I think I'll go help Ru-chan with her outfit...

Rurouni: That's it! I'll go as Fuuko! It's settled, finished with!

5 minutes later...

Rurouni: Argh!!!! Who should I go as? Black Tiger? Fuuko?

Sano: ~maniacal laughter in the background~

Karasu: ...What's Sano going as anyway... Don't tell me it's Nahga from Slayers...

Aya: Count D from Pet Shop of Horrors. She needs purple lipstick, purple nail polish and Chinese clothing.

Rurouni: Argh!!!! Who should I go as? Black Tiger? Fuuko?

Hotohori: At the rate she's going, Ru-chan is never gonna be able to buy the materials for her outfit before Saturday.

Karasu: Say... do you remember Ru-chan and Sano discussing the other day about a shortage of cash this December? If they're gonna be spending money on getting stuff for their cosplay then...

Enishi: You don't mean...

Karasu and Enishi: They're not gonna be able to cough out enough dough for OUR Christmas presents!

Karasu: We've gotta stop them!

Hotohori: No new clothes?!

Karasu: No foxes!

Enishi: No guns!

Aya: ... No black trenchcoats?

Kazunari: Maybe we should all calm down. This isn't as bad as it looks....
All 4 LIACs turn on Kazunari with murder in their eyes.

Rurouni: Argh!!!! Who should I go as? Black Tiger? Fuuko?

Sano: ~maniacal laughter in the background~

All attention is on the 2 nutcases in the house. Kazunari is temporarily spared.

Rurouni: Ok! I've decided! I'll go as Black Tiger!

Kazunari: Uhm.. Ruchan? Didn't you already tell the ML that you'll be going as Fuuko?

Rurouni: Yah... welll, I prefer Black Tiger, he's a more fun character to dress up as.

Karasu: Yah, he's male... that's the only reason Ruchan is choosing him over Fuuko.

Rurouni: Not true! I like him better 'cos he's funnier...

Hotohori: Ruchan? How are you going to get Black Tiger's weapon?

Rurouni: Simple. I'll just bring along a bamboo pole.

Sano: Are you sure you can carry it?

Kazunari: Ruchan, how will you board the bus with the bamboo pole?

Rurouni face-faults.

Rurouni: I think I'll go as Fuuko after all.

Hotohori: So long as it's not me, I don't really care which monkey they want to dress up as.

Rurouni: Ok, I'm going to shop for Fuuko stuff now.

Rurouni exits.

Karasu: Wait a minute.

Hotohori: Shop for-

Karasu: Fuuko's stuff?

Hotohori: Then our Christmas presents?!

Karasu: Ruchan! Wait up! We'll help you to shop!

2 hours later...

Rurouni: Whew! Finally got everything!

Enishi: Yup and you have enough left for our presents too, I hope.

Rurouni: You're not my LIAC, what should I get you anything?

Enishi: What?! Omae wa korosu!

Kazunari: Ruchan? Why did you buy plasticine?

Rurouni: To make my Fuujin of course!

Kazunari: But plasticine...?

Karasu: Eh? Aya? What are you doing?

Aya: Observing Sano... she's been at it since 8pm. It is now 12.14 am.....

Enishi: What's it?

Aya: Fingernail paintng.

There is a momentary silence.


Karasu: You gotta be kidding!

Hotohori peeks in at Sano.

Hotohori: She's only got one nail done! And it's badly done too.

Enishi: 4 hours for one nail?

All LIACs: ...


Kazunari: She is a first-timer...

Sano: Hey! Pipe down out there! I'm concentrating.

Enishi, Hotohori and Karasu snigger.

Hotohori:  I could do better...

Enishi: That's because you're a sissy.

Hotohori: WHAT?! ME?! SISSY?!

Enishi: That's what I just said.

Karasu: Well... you do stare at your reflection in the mirror for hours on end...

Enishi: You like shopping for clothes.

Karasu: You like pretty pink ribbons!

Enishi: You giggle like a girl everytime you talk to Miaka on the phone.

Karasu: You-

Hotohori: I'm not listening to this!

Hotohori stomps off and sulks in a corner making a big show of being upset.

Karasu: You throw tantrums like a girl...

Kazunari hurries over to pacify Hotohori.
Enishi: And Kazunari acts like his mother...

Karasu: He just misses his sons, that's why he's turned to doting on me and Hotochan.

Aya: ......

Enishi: You? Please don't make me puke out my blood and guts.

Sano: You! The black one over there!

Enishi: Aya, Sano's calling you.

Aya goes over to Sano.

Aya: What?

Sano: I didn't ask for you, I want the other black one!

Aya: The other? Oh... ok...

Enishi: Hey! Karasu, yup you, the black one over there! The vampire wannabe. Sano's calling for you.

Karasu: Big deal! Why should I go over? She doesn't even want to call me by name.

Aya: I... think she doesn't remember your name.

Karasu: WHAT?!

Hotohori: See how insignificant you are?

Karasu glares at Hotohori and stomps over to confront  Sano.

Sano sticks her nails in front of Karasu's face.

Sano: Paint them.

Karasu splutters.

Hotohori: Don't you mean polish them?

Sano: Whatever.

Karasu whips out a bottle of white shoe polish. Enishi pokes a gun at Karasu's forehead.

Enishi: Don't be an arse. Polish her nails. She's giving you free food and lodging.

Karasu: No she isn't. Ruchan is.

Karasu prepares to explode the gun.

Kazunari: You'd better do as Enishi says, that's a gun he's holding, it won't be nice if it blows up in your face.

Rurouni dashes over and grabs hold of Karasu by the scruff of his neck.

Rurouni: Come on, I need you to help make my Fuujin.

Karasu: Gladly...

Kazunari: Why don't you just use a stuffed doll as Fuujin-chan?

Rurouni: I don't have a white furball.

Rurouni runs off with Karasu in hand.

Da next day

Sano: Wah! It's the last day and I still can't figure out how to paint my nails!

Karasu: You'd think she should have gotten it by now. It's been two days since she started and she still hasn't got it yet!

Kazunari: Why don't you give her a hand? I've seen you painting your nails red.

Karasu: Ahh, I can't be bothered to. I have enough trouble helping Ruchan with her costume. There she is calling me for help again. Gotta run. What would she do without me...

Karasu exits muttering something about being indispensible in the household.

Sano (in tears): That's it! I can't go to the cosplay!

While Sano is wailing away, a black figure whizzes past Kazunari at the doorway and goes over to Sano.

Aya: Hold out your hand.

Sano stops wailing.

Sano: Huh?
Aya takes her hand and begins polishing her nails carefully with great skill.

All LIACS: ...

Enishi: I didn't know Aya knew how to do manicures.

Karasu peeps in.

Karasu: Well at least he's doing more than just 'looking pretty'.

Hotohori: Which is more than we can say for you, free-loader.

Karasu: Hey, I'm helping Ruchan.

Hotohori: The only thing you're doing is giving Ruchan your worthless feedback about how she is getting on with her costume.

Karasu: Well, you don't even do that!

Hotohori: I do all the housework!

Once again, Kazunari moves over to pacify them.

Rurouni: Hey! Will you 3 get over here and help me with my Fuujin?!

Kazunari: Have you finished sewing the velcro on your bandanna and choker?

Rurouni: Yah yah... pricked my finger twice too.

After 45 minutes of collective effort by Rurouni's LIACs...

Hotohori: Finally! It's done!

Karasu: Ewww... all the plasticine has gotten into my nails...

Rurouni: Let me try it on...

Kazunari: Looks good...

Enishi: But it sure smells bad....

Aya: ......

Rurouni: It's eeky and sticky and smelly and...

Kazunari: And?

Rurouni: I've changed my mind, I don't want to go as Fuuko anymore. The Fuujin is disgusting.

Kazunari: Please be reminded that you have only about 8 hours left to the cosplay and it's about 1+++am now, so all the shops are closed. You can't get stuff for any other character.

Rurouni: Rats... ok, I'll go as Fuuko without the Fuujin then.

Karasu: What?! You mean I sacrificed my nails for nothing?

Hotohori: Shut up. You aren't the only one who suffered. My delicate hands are all messy and dirty now...

Kazunari: But if Ruchan doesn't want to use it then there's really nothing we can do...

Karasu and Hotohori fly off to Kingdom Come.

Sano: I scratched the polish off by accident!

Rurouni: The velcro is sewn on the wrong piece of cloth!

All the LIACs start tip-toeing away.
 End of LIAC adventure.