Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective creators. The LIAC concept belongs to Tae/Sae.

Flu Bomb

By Geraldine Cheong
11th June 1999

Ah... ah... AHCHOO! KABABOOM!!!

Hotohori: My new clothes! KARASU!!! I'LL SKIN YOU ALIVE, YOU LITTLE @#$%^!!!

Karasu: [sniffles] It's not as if I could help it. Do you think I wanted to ruin your clothes on purpose?

Kazunari: Hmm... that's hard to say...

Ah... ah...

Kazunari: No! NO! Not my new story! I just finished typing it out! Turn away, quick!!


Karasu: Sorry. [blows nose, creating another mini explosion as the tissue goes up in smoke.]

Kazunari: [in great distress] All my hard work...

Hotohori: Kaz, he did it on purpose 'cos you wouldn't sleep with him last night.

Kazunari: I just thought it was a tad too risky to share the same bed with someone suffering from flu. Especially when that someone is a pro at creating explosives. [Aside to Hotohori] Good thing I saved another copy of my story in the PC.

Karasu: I bet you wouldn't say the same thing if I were one of your sons.

[Note: Kazunari has 4... see 'Newbie']

Kazunari: That's a different story altogether.

Ah... ah... AHCHOO! KABABOOM!!!

Kazunari: Oh no! Not the PC too?!

Hotohori: That's the end of your hard work, Kaz.

Kazunari: Fortunately , I anticipated that. I sent an attachment to both my manager and my sons beforehand. Look at it this way, I'm living with a psychotic demon and a temperamental emperor, anything can happen. One has to be prepared for anything. It's the only way to survive in this household.

Hotohori: You're a fast learner.

Kazunari: Thank you.

Karasu: Rats! Now I'll never get Ru-chan to help me trick Kurama over. I just blew up her new PC.

Hotohori: PC? Speaking of which... MY FINAL FANTASY GAME IS IN THERE!!! [agonised scream - Koyasu style] I was just about to meet Sephiroth and finish him off!!! Karasu, you did it on purpose! You were jealous that I was so far ahead of you... going to meet the great Sephiroth face to face while you were still stuck trying to catch the right chocobos. Admit it!

Karasu: [sniffs] Well, you should have saved your game onto a floppy.

Kazunari pats Hotohori's shoulders comfortingly, trying to calm him down so as to prevent a terrible bloodshed.

Kazunari: Have mercy on him, Hotohori-san. He's a sick demon. I reckon this is the first time he has ever caught the flu bug.

Hotohori: Karasu has been sick from the very first day I met him. Sick. Demented. Psychotic. Twisted...

Kazunari: I sure hope Ru-chan comes back with the medicine soon.

Ah... ah... AHCHOO! KABABOOM!!!

Hotohori: Or she won't have a house to come back to.

Kazunari: True.

Karasu: I think I'll go and have a nice lie down. I need company. I'm sick and lonely. [looks meaningfully at Hotohori and Kazunari]

Hotohori and Kazunari sweatdrops.

Hotohori: You've always been sick and lonely.

Karasu: Come on... Ru-chan instructed both of you to take good care of me and never let me out of your sights.

Kazunari: Uhm... ok... but no sharing of germs... I mean bed.

Karasu: Whatever.

Karasu lies down in his room while Kazunari and Hotohori sit at the door of the room, ready to bolt out the second Karasu directs an 'unintentional' sneeze bomb at them.

Ah... ah... AHCHOO! KABABOOM!!!

Both Kazunari and Hotohori scramble away like quicksilver.

Kazunari: Oops! There goes the ceiling...

Hotohori: That is a big skylight... free renovation for Ru-chan I guess. She's always wanted to be able to count the stars at night.

Karasu: I like the pretty blue fluffy clouds.

Hotohori: White you silly, clouds are white, the sky is blue.

Kazunari: Maybe his vision is affected by his ailment.

Rurouni: WAH! What happened to the door!

Kazunari: Karasu sneezed.

Hotohori: He was facing the door.

Kazunari: It blew apart.

Hotohori: Nearly killed me.

Rurouni: Poor thing!

Hotohori: Right. My new clothes got blown to bits, I nearly get pulverised by splinters of wood and blocks of ceiling are falling on my head.

Rurouni: I understand. It must be a really traumatising experience for Karasu. When he sneezes, he sucks in all the explosive particles in the air, transforming them into miniature bombs.

Karasu: [sounding miserable] Ru-chan. I'm sorry about your PC and the door and the-

Rurouni: That's alright! I know you're suffering. Flus are really nasty. I hate them too. Besides, Kazunari's new novel should be enough to cover up the repairs and such.

Kazunari: Eh? I wanted to take my sons out on a 'family day'...

Rurouni: There should be enough left over for that.

Hotohori: Where is the medicine?

Rurouni: According to the temple medium...

Karasu: [shrieks] Temple medium?!

Rurouni: Hey! You expected me to get medicine from a doctor? You're a demon! You might get an allergic reaction to human medicines.

Kazunari: Valid point. So what did the temple medium say?

Rurouni: To get rid of demons in the house, one has to stick all these yellow papers everywhere and get some glutinous rice...

Kazunari: Uhm... what I meant was, what did he say regarding  Karasu's flu?

Rurouni: Nothing.

Hotohori: Nothing? You mean we have to put up with him till we get blown to bits?

Rurouni: Uhm.... he mentioned that demons, especially powerful ones were able to 'self-heal'. So all we need to do is sit back and relax till it's all over in a day or two.

Karasu: I told you I'd be fine in a few days.

Hotohori: Sit back and relax? A few days? What if we don't survive till then?

Kazunari: I'd better get my will written today.

Hotohori: Me too.

Karasu: It'd be really sweet if both of you would kindly write me into your wills.

Hotohori and Kazunari: No way! If we do that, there's zero chance of us surviving till Karasu gets better.

Rurouni: Oh well, it's only a couple of days.

Hotohori: [eagerly] Why don't we put a ward on Karasu to seal his powers?

Rurouni: That way, he get weaker and lose his 'self-healing' abilities.

Kazunari: Not a good idea.

Hotohori: Better than us losing our lives!

Kazunari: I have a better idea. Why don't we keep Karasu sedated till he gets better?

Rurouni: But sedatives might cause allergic reactions too.

Kazunari: We won't use sedatives. We'll use Hotohori's voice.

Hotohori: What? Me?!

Rurouni: Hey, good idea! Hotohori has a lovely voice.

Kazunari: [hands Hotohori some song sheets] Here are the song sheets. Start singing.

Hotohori: Wait! You expect me to sing non-stop for a couple of days? What if I lose my voice after that?

Rurouni: Just sing till he falls asleep.

Karasu: Yep. Don't worry, Hoto-chan, I'll try to stay awake.

Hotohori: Grrr... [looks at song sheets] Rock-a-bye-baby, on-the-tree-top-

Rurouni and Kazunari: ...zzzZZZzzz...

Karasu: Nice. Carry on crooning.

Hotohori: Ah! Forget it! Since both Ru-chan and Kazunari are asleep now...

Hotohori goes over to Karasu and whacks him on the head. Karasu falls asleep at once.

Hotohori: Done. Now all I have to do is make sure he stays that way for the next few days... down under... [grins evilly]

End of LIAC adventure.