Disclaimer: All characters belong to their respective creators. The LIAC concept belongs to Tae/Sae.
By Geraldine Cheong
12th May 1999
Karasu: Hey! What's the big fuss? You've brushed your hair three hundred sixty-nine times exactly. You've tried on fifty-eight different outfits so far. You've stared at the mirror for two hours seventeen minutes twenty-nine seconds 1 split-second and counting. Is Miaka coming over for a visit or something?
Hotohori: Miaka? She won't be able to get pass the front door. Ru-chan won't let her.
Rurouni: I have the welfare of you boys to think about. What if she finishes all the food in the house? I'd have an emperor and a youkai, half-starved, suffering from malnutrition to deal with. Goodness knows what you'll do then! Besides, she probably can't fit into the doorway with the amount of food she demolishes...
Hotohori: [wails] Ru-chan!
Karasu: Come on Hoto-chan, you've got to eat right to look right and the only way you're going to eat right is if Miaka is kept at bay.
Hotohori: Do not call me 'Hoto-chan'! I'm not that young!
Karasu: You're a baby when compared to me. I'm centuries old.
Rurouni: Are you really that old?
Karasu: Dunno, I'm so old I can't remember my own age. I'm definitely older than the 2 of you put together anyway. So, Hoto-chan…
Hotohori: I said-!
Karasu: What do you expect?
Hotohori: Hotohori-sama would be nice…
Karasu: Blah! So if it's not Miaka then what's the big fuss? Nuriko? A Konan emergency meeting? A Suzaku shichi-seishis reunion dinner?
Rurouni: Wah! Karasu! Don't touch those books! They don't belong to me!!!
Karasu: Don't worry, I won't harm them if they manage to keep me awake.
Rurouni: They're Sharon's...
Karasu: [gulps] Ok... Nice book... there you go, stay there and don't blow up, 'kay? Sharon isn't coming over is she? If she is, I'd better hide. She's always bugging me about bullying Hotohori when I'm the one being bullied all the time.
Hotohori: Right. As sure as the sun comes out at night. No, Sharon's not coming but someone else is.
[Note: Sharon's a good friend of mine who's a big Fushigi Yuugi fan.]
Karasu: Oh no! Not Ecchi again! She's always match-making me with funny characters from other series... like that psycho Schuderich from Weiss Kreuz.
[Note: Ecchi's another good friend of mine who's a big yaoi/shonen-ai fan.]
Rurouni: Hey! Schuderich's a really nice fellow.
Hotohori: Figures Ru-chan'll say that since she likes psychos. Why else would Karasu be hanging around here? Then again, since Schuderich likes to play mindgames like you do… The 2 of you should have a lot of fun trying to play mind games on each other.
Karasu: You talk too much. So who's the big shit... uhm I mean big shot who's coming?
[Note: I really made a typo error there for 'shot' but it made me laugh so I left it in there.]
Rurouni: Nakatsukasa Kazunari, a new LIAC I got.
Hotohori: I heard she's really pretty!
Karasu: Really? Hotohori! Lend me thy comb!
Rurouni: AHEM! He is indeed a bishounen.
Hotohori: [squeaks] What? He? You mean I been dressing up the whole morning to meet a rival to my beauty?
Karasu: Hotohori, you can keep thy comb.
Rurouni: Just to brief you a bit about him before he arrives… He's a writer, age 35, father of 4 equally bishounen guys and-
Hotohori: What about his wife?
Rurouni: She died not long after their 4th child was born. Sad, isn't it?
Karasu: Wait a sec! You said 'age 35'.
Karasu: And you also said 'father of 4'?
Rurouni: That's right. Hopefully they'll all come over with their father, so I'll have a room full of bishounens! Hahahah!
Karasu: Father of 4 at the age of 35?!
Hotohori: What's the big deal, I'm a father at the age of 18.
Karasu: Big deal, puny father of 1…
Hotohori: Better than you'll ever be anyway, centuries old and still luckless.
Karasu: I have exquisite taste in choosing my life-mate.
Hotohori: More like nobody wants you.
Karasu: Hang on a minute… it might be some pesky sales people, I'll go and take a look-see.
Hotohori: And I'll take a hear-see.
K+H went to interrogate the person standing at the door. Rurouni followed to make sure nobody got murdered.
Karasu: [aside to Hotohori] She's a pretty saleswoman if I may say so myself. She must have a lot of stuff to sell, look at the size of that bag!
Hotohori: [aside to Karasu] Not too bad, don't let Ru-chan see or Ru-chan will probably chase her away.
Karasu: [aside to Hotohori] Do you think I'm stupid? Now buzz off, I'll pass you her contact number once I-
Person-at-door: … [opens big bag]
Karasu: Yes? What's that you're selling?
Person-at-door: Would you like to get a copy? [holds out a book] It's an award-winning book called "Love is Deeper than the Ocean" written by m-
Karasu: Ok but first give me your contact number.
Hotohori: [nudges Karasu whispers harshly] You're being too direct! You'll probably scare off the salesgirl! Go slow!
Voice: [calls from stairs] Tooma, found the place yet?!
Person-at-door aka Tooma: Maybe, there are some people here who seem really interested in getting your book…
Voice materialises with another big bag.
Karasu: [whispers to Hotohori] Wow! Check this out, another beautiful salesgirl!
Hotohori: Don't you worry Ru-chan, we'll chase those nasty salespeople away.
Voice-at-door: Uhm… is this the Rurouni-san's residence?
Karasu: Yah yah, we'll buy the book if you'd just give me your contact numbers!!!
Voice-at-door: Uhm… Actually I'm not, I mean I am, I mean…
Tooma: [hugs Voice-at-door and gives Voice a kiss on the cheek] Easy Kazunari, there's nothing to be nervous about, we're all here.
Karasu and Hotohori facefaults.
Karasu: It's him.
Hotohori: Argh! How can anyone look as beautiful as I do?! It's abominable!
Karasu: I think he looks prettier than you do.
Hotohori: Shut up! [to readers] You should all know by now that you cannot trust the words of an old youkai.
Rurouni: Nakatsukasa Kazunari?
Voice aka Kazunari: Yes.
Tooma: Hmm… for a moment there I thought we had gotten the wrong address.
Kazunari: Eto… I need to speak to Rurouni-san.
Rurouni: That's would be me. Come in.
Kazunari: Can my sons come in too?
Senya: [appearing behind Kazunari] Hey! Call off your dog, will ya? We don't want Masato to get hurt. [hugs Masato]
Yuki: [standing beside Senya] Be nice, Senya.
Masato: [blushing furiously] Senya-niisan! Stop hugging me in front of others!
Karasu: You sure they are sons and not daughters?
Kazunari: [looks surprised] Positive.
Hotohori: [growls to Karasu] I don't like them.
Karasu: You're just jealous 'cos they all look prettier than you do.
Hotohori starts chasing Karasu around with his heavenly sword. Kazunari looks alarmed.
Rurouni: Don't worry, they do that everyday.
Kazunari: Uhm… ok… [sitting down with Tooma, Yuki, Senya, Masato and eventually Hotohori and a battered looking Karasu following suit] This is Tooma, my first-born, Yuki's my second, Senya's third and Masato's the youngest.
Senya: And cutest! [Masato scowled darkly.]
Kazunari: Actually, what I wanted to talk to you about was-
Masato: We all love Kazunari very much so we would like to stay for a while to make sure he's really ok.
Senya: That's right. And we'll come by everyday to make sure he's fine too.
Tooma: I wouldn't have it put any other way.
Yuki: I have to see to it that he has his regular meals and gets enough rest. You don't know how he gets when he's too engrossed with his writing.
Masato: Kazunari's really muddle-headed so he tends to forget simple stuff like that.
Kazunari: Uhm… that's basically it.
Hotohori: [to Karasu] Good. If he don't eat right, he won't look right and I'd definitely be prettier than he will ever be.
Karasu: Don't worry. We'll make sure he's alright.
Masato: [shakes head vehemently] We want to make sure for ourselves that he's alright 'cos he's our Kazunari and we love him very much!
Senya: What he said, besides we have to make sure that he doesn't get bullied by somebody.
Hotohori: What do you mean by that?
Rurouni: Ok, no problem. End of discussion.
Hotohori: [splutters] What?!
Senya: That easy?
Karasu: Knowing Ru-chan, she probably planned it that way from the start.
Tooma: Well, we look forward to seeing you everyday then.
Yuki: We'd better get going now. It'll be getting dark soon.
Kazunari: I'll see all of you home!
Yuki: No need. You'd better stay here. You might get lost in the dark.
Kazunari: [in tears] Ok but 'Tousan will miss all of you! [kisses all of them on the cheek in turn as they leave]
Masato: We'll come again tomorrow.
After Kazunari's sons had left…
Hotohori: [giving Kazunari the evil eye] So, you're Nakatsukasa Kazunari…
Kazunari: [gulps] Y-yes… what can I do for you?
Karasu: [running his fingers through Kazunari's hair] Oh what beautiful hair you have…
End of LIAC Adventure.