Karasu: [big shiny eyes] Please let me help you write this fic. Please please please... pretty pretty please with a cherry on the top.
Rurouni: You sure that cherry won't blow up in my face? Everyone knows that the only reason you want to help me write this fic is because Kurama's in it.
Karasu: I'll be good! I'll behave myself! Promise!
Rurouni: Ok, you can co-write with me but you are not allowed to write yourself into the main story. Clear?
[Rurouni's got a soft spot for Karasu and he knows it.]
Karasu: [gleefully] Absolutely! Ok, from this point onwards, all Ru-chan's conversations with myself shall be coloured purple.
Rurouni: Why purple?
Karasu: I like it. It's the colour of my eyes.
Rurouni: But bright magenta?
Karasu: Why not?
Karasu: Why do I have to start off writing about
Rurouni: Just do it!
One fine morning, Shizuru was trying to wake her brother, Kuwabara Kazuma up as she always did.
"OEI! KAZU! Wake up!" Shizuru shook Kuwabara roughly.
He stirred a little and mumbled a "...hmm..." before turning over and returning to his slumber.
"WAKE UP! Or you'll be late for school!" Shizuru yanked the bedcovers off him.
"Just a while more... 'kaasan..." Kuwabara muttered before burrowing himself further into the covers.
"'KAASAN, MY FOOT!" An enraged Shizuru decided not to waste anymore time on her lazy brother. She kicked him out of bed with her foot and lit herself a cigarette.
Her unfortunate brother landed on the ground with a heavy 'THUMP!'. "OUCH! 'Kaa-Shizuru-san?! When did you-"
"Good, you're finally awake and it's 'neesan' to you," Shizuru drawled as she left the room.
In that same fine morning, Shiori was trying to wake her son, Kurama aka Shuuichi up as she always did too.
"Shuuichi, it's time to wake up." Shiori shook Kurama gently.
He did not even stir a little or mumbled a "...hmm..." but continued sleeping as if he had not heard her at all.
Karasu: What a lazy clod!
Rurouni: Just keep writing. No personal attacks allowed. Get it? That means no flaming.
Karasu: I don't flame, I bomb. Flaming's the little black fellow's expertise.
Hiei: [growls] Who do you think you're calling 'little black fellow'?
Karasu: [looks innocent] ~whistles~
"Shuuichi, if you don't wake up now, you'll be late for school." Shiori said as she gently tugged the bedcovers off him.
"Just a while more... 'neesan..." Kurama muttered before burrowing himself further into the covers.
Neesan? I must have heard wrongly. "Shuuichi?" Shiori looked at the piles of books on her son's desk and silently worried about the late nights her son kept in order to excel in school. I suppose it won't hurt to let him sleep for a little while more... but Shuuichi always could wake up by himself in the morning... unless... Shiori sat down next to her son and touched his forehead. "Shuuichi? How are you feeling?"
"Sleepy," Kurama mumbled. Shiori laughed softly.
Kurama sat up in a panic. Where am I? He looked around the messy room. A large 'Animerica' poster was plastered to the back of the door. Animerica? This is Kuwabara-kun's room... What am I doing here?
Shizuru rapped at the bedroom door, "Kazu! I'm going off now! Don't be late for school!"
"Shizuru-san! Wait!" Kurama called out in a voice very unlike his. What is going on?
Shizuru came into the room, "What did you just call me?"
"Shizuru-san?" Kurama said cautiously, still in the voice that was highly familiar, yet very unlike his. "What am I doing here?" Kurama asked in a tiny voice as he tried to free himself from the tangle of sheets.
Shizuru closed her eyes, her brows furrowed as if in deep concentration. Kurama waited patiently for her. Finally, Shizuru opened her eyes, "Kurama-kun."
"Yes?" Kurama looked at her questioningly.
"Come with me," Shizuru said. "There's something you need to see."
Karasu: Yes! Kurama! I want to see more too! You
can start by taking off your- OUCH! Why did you hit me?
Rurouni: I forgot to mention. No lemons in my fics.
Karasu: It wasn't a lemon, I was just going to write that he was changing out of his pyjamas.
Wait a minute! That isn't 'Neesan's laughter! And who's that sitting next to me on my bed? Kuwabara opened an eye to take a peek. "YIKES!!! You're... you're Kurama's mother!"
"Kurama? Oh, that's what your friends call you sometimes, isn't it?" Shiori asked with a smile. "Do you feel well enough to go to school?"
"Uhm... yes." Kuwabara answered with a gulp.
"Go and wash up. When you're ready, come and join me for breakfast." Shiori said as she exited the room.
"...yes..." Kuwabara said meekly. What in Makai in going on? What am I doing in Kurama's room in Kurama's bed? Did we have a sleepover? No, I don't remember us having one. Better find Kurama to clear things up as soon as possible...
There was a slight rustle from behind him. Kuwabara turned around. Hiei stood at the window. "Kura-" Hiei started but broke off midway. He stared at Kuwabara, eyes widening in shock. "What are you doing here?"
"That's why I am trying to figure out. I don't remember coming to Kurama's house for a sleepover... or did I come to ask him about my schoolwork?"
"What are you doing in Kurama's body?!" Hiei asked, the jagan on his forehead burning with a fierce glow as he checked once more to make sure that his senses were not going berserk on him.
"What?" Kuwabara screeched.
Karasu: Oh gosh! Ru-chan! How could you do that?
You made my lovely Kurama screech! Kurama never screeches! Rewrite! Rewrite!
Or I'll bomb up your PC!
Rurouni: And I'll write you out of existence.
Kurama stared at the mirror in horror. Kuwabara stared back at him in equal horror.
"Kurama-kun, I know seeing Kazuma's face first thing in the morning isn't a very pleasant sight but it won't help if you just keep staring agape at the reflection in the mirror." Shizuru reminded.
"I am in Kuwabara's body..." Kurama whispered to himself.
"Yes, we've determined that much so far..." Shizuru said calmly.
Kurama shook himself out of his reverie. "Shizuru-san, can I borrow your phone?"
Shizuru shrugged, "It's all yours."
Karasu: Eh... Ru-chan, what's Kurama's phone number?
Rurouni: Put that phone down and continue writing!
Shiori knocked on the door again, "Shuuichi, your call."
Kuwabara opened the door a tiny crack and took the phone from her. "Uhm... Thank you."
Shiori smiled, "Don't take too long." Kuwabara nodded.
"Hello? Yes, I'm Kuwa-Kurama!!!" Kuwabara screeched. "Where are you?! Do you know what happened?! I'm in your body now and WHAT?! YOU'RE IN MINE?! WHAT IS GOING ON?"
Rurouni: Why is this scene so short?
Karasu: I'm sick of writing about Kuwabara.
Rurouni: But he looks like Kurama now...
Karasu: Don't remind me.
Kurama winced and held the phone some distance from his ears until the screeching died down.
Karasu: Poor Kurama, are your ears hurting? Remember,
the time when your ears were ringing with the sound of my bombs exploding?
And when you only had eyes for me? At the Ankoku, that was sooo romantic!
Let's do it again sometime...
Kurama: [frowning darkly] Just keep writing and stop day-dreaming!
"Kuwabara-kun. I'll find out what's going on and try to remedy the situation. Meanwhile, can you go to my school and pretend to be me for a day? I don't want to worry my 'Kaasan." Kurama grimaced as Kuwabara screeched again.
"So it's a deal? Thank you very much. Yes, Shizuru knows about it. Yes. Ok, bye." Kurama put down the phone and heaved a sigh of relief. He smiled wanely at Shizuru, "I never knew I could screech."
"That's our Kazuma." Shizuru replied with a wry smile. "Come on, let's go and get some help. I'm sure you don't want Kuwabara to tarnish the good reputation you have in Meiou High."
"Are you sure it's alright for me not to go to school on Kuwabara's behalf?" Kurama asked.
"Sure. No problem. He's always skipping classes with Yuusuke anyway."
"If you say so."
"Minamino-san, I can't figure out the answer for this question. Can you help me with it?"
"Minamino-kun! Please! The committee needs you! You're the smartest and most popular guy in school. The teachers like you. The girls like you. Heck, even the guys have crushes on you! Please Minamino-kun! We need you!"
"Minamino-sempai, I-I... uhm... I kinda l-like admire you very very much. So what I'm trying to say is... erm... Willyoupleasegoonadatewithme?"
"ARGH!!! WILL YOU ALL STOP FOLLOWING ME AROUND?!"
Karasu: That's right! You pests! Stop following my Kurama's body around! He's mine mine, all mine!
"But I've never seen him like this before..."
"He's looks so cool when he's angry! I think I'm falling in love!"
Karasu: Hahah! You ain't seen nothing yet. When
I was fighting alongside him during the Ankuko...
Kurama: [bristling] We were not fighting alongside each other, we were fighting against each other.
Kuwabara: Just hurry up and get this fic over with will you?! I'm being trampled by a bunch of skirts!
"WAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! KURAMAAAAAA!!! I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!!!!!"
Karasu: Shut up, Kuwabara. Killing Kurama is an
act that is copyrighted solely to me.
Rurouni: Quit stalling.
"WHAT NOW?!" Kuwabara spins around, " HIEI?!"
"Kaitou's in Meiou High too."
"Hn. I thought being in Kurama's body would make you a little smarter. Guess I thought wrong."
Karasu: I thought you of all people would be smarter
than to think that.
Hiei: Shut up!
"Just spit it out, shrimp! Don't make me make you!"
"Hn. Baka. Kaitou might be able to help you." Hiei said before flitting off.
"NO! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO SUMS! I DON'T WANT TO BE CHAIRMAN OF THE BOTANY CLUB AND I ALREADY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND!"
"Minamino-kun has a girlfriend?"
"Who? Minamino, tell us!"
As Kuwabara was being chased around Meiou High by a pack of students, someone suddenly grabbed him and dragged him into a room.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Let go of me!!! Ecchi! Hentai!" A hand was clamped over his mouth before he could scream anymore. His eyes widened when he saw who it was.
"Be quiet." He was instructed before the hold on him relaxed.
Karasu: No, this isn't Karasu. As much as I would
like it to be... sniff...
Rurouni: You know the drill… the writing of yourself into the main story is a strict NO-NO.
Karasu: Yah yah, I know I know…
"Ka-Kaitou! Just the person I was looking for! I- " Kuwabara almost sobbed with relief. Oh thank goodness, it isn't some sick psycho like Karasu, he'd probably rape me.
Karasu: What do you mean by that?!
Yuusuke: Cool it, you know Kuwabara isn't very bright.
"Minamino, you're acting a little strange today."
"That's because I'm not Kurama! I'm Kuwabara!" Kuwabara practically screeched .
"Kuwabara?" Kaitou looked puzzled.
"Yes! When Kurama and I woke up this morning, both of us had switched
bodies. Kurama wanted me to come to school on his behalf so that his mother
would not be worried. Meanwhile, he'll try to find out what's going on
and- ah well, it's a long story. I just hope he takes good care of my body.
Kurama gets injured very easily. I wonder if he can handle the-"
"Wait a minute, are you saying that Minamino is in your body at the moment?" Kaitou frowned, looking a little puzzled.
"Uhm... do I know you?" Kurama asked the few wayward teenagers surrounding him.
"Eh! Looks like our little Kuwa-chan has forgotten about us... let's help him to remember..." One of them mocked as he eyed his comrades.
"Yeah..." Another said and cracked his knuckles.
Karasu: Oooh yeah! Knock him out and send him
"Didn't I just explain everything to you? Does Kurama always attract so much attention?" Kuwabara asked irritatedly.
Kaitou pushed his glasses higher on the bridge of his nose. "Yes. But
he always manages to disperse the crowd before it escalates into a full-fledged
"Yah yah. You don't have to rub it in."
"Why don't you go and take refuge in the sick bay? I'll inform your classmates that-"
"They are not MY classmates!!! They are Kurama's!!!" Kuwabara screeched.
Kaitou scoffed, then continued, "I'll inform Kurama's classmates that he isn't feeling very well and is resting in the sick bay. They should know better than to disturb an ailing classmate."
"What if they don't?"
"Best of luck."
Karasu: Don't worry, my dear Kurama's body, I'll
hop right over and pay you a loving visit.
Rurouni: You stay right here and finish the fic.
After a long and tiring day, both our weary heroes met to discuss matters over dinner. Hiei and Shizuru joined them. Yuusuke who had been informed of what had happened also met up with them.
"Ah! Kuwabara-kun! What happened to you?!" Kurama asked worriedly as he examined Kuwabara's or rather his ragged pink uniform which Kuwabara was wearing.
"I got chased by a mob of Kurama-lovers." Kuwabara stated simply. Yuusuke blurted out laughing hysterically.
Kuwabara's eyes widen when he saw Kurama's dirty and torn clothing with an assortment of scratches and bruises adorning his bare skin. "Ack! What happened to you, Kurama?!"
"I got chased by a mob of Kuwabara-haters. I forgot I couldn't use any
of my plants to help me when I'm in Kuwabara's body. Since I did not have
full control over the Rei-ken, I decided against depending on it as a weapon
of defence lest I should decapitate anyone by mistake."
"Ack! Poor poor thing!" Kuwabara hugged Kurama and sobbed.
"Ano... Kuwabara-kun, I'm quite alright, no broken bones, thank you very much for your conce-" Kurama tried to reassure his comrade, blushing slightly at the way Kuwabara was holding him.
Karasu: Yuusuke's just jealous 'cos he can't hold
Kurama that way without people calling him a gay. I mean everybody wants
to hug and coddle Kurama, he's so pretty. I can still remember the feel
of his silky strands of red hair between my fingers.
Kurama: [sarcastically] Oh what long fingers you have...
Karasu: The better to caress you with, my dear.
Kurama: Over my dead body!
Karasu: That's exactly what I had in mind.
Rurouni: Time out, boys. No dead bodies in this fic.
Kuwabara seethed. "Kurama! Teme... I drag your sorry ass to school on your behalf, pick my way through an entire school of screeching girls, beseeching boys and doting teachers throwing themselves at my feet, fry my brains cells attempting to solve mathematical problems that I have never seen in my entire life and this..." Kuwabara gestured wildly at Kurama, "...this is the way you repay me?! You allow my beloved beautiful macho body to be used as a punching bag?! You ingrate! Yukina-san will never look at me the same way again! She'll-she'll...aaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!"
Everybody sweatdropped. "I was trying not to kill anyone..." Kurama said in a small voice.
"What?! So you'd rather let my body GET KILLED?!" Kuwabara screeched.
"I did manage to fight them off in the end... I just wasn't used to fighting in your size at first..." Kurama continued in an even smaller voice.
"Bwahahahahahah!!!!!!!" Yuusuke tried desperately to keep the tears from rolling down his cheeks as he exploded in another burst of hysterical laughter. "Kuwabara... your body's too fat for him to move fast enough! Bwakkakakakakakakkak!!!!"
Karasu: Ok, so Yuusuke's laughter sounds funny, live with it.
Kuwabara turned a livid shade of pink as he moved over to throttle the breath out of Yuusuke.
"Kazu, get a grip on yourself," Shizuru drawled, taking a long drag from her cigarette before she spoke again, "or I will have to take you in hand... " Kuwabara paled and behaved.
"I've seen Genkai, she said that she did not know what had happened and how our souls switched bodies. I was wondering, it could be due to the fact that both our names began with 'Ku'..."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Kuwabara retorted.
"Hn. Baka, lots of spells require the use the intended victim's names in order to be effective." Hiei closed his eyes, his jagan glowing faintly.
"What is it, Hiei? An enemy?" Yuusuke asked, all his senses now alert as he tensed up and readied himself for an attack.
"No, I'm looking at Kurama and Kuwabara through my jagan. It's much more pleasant that way. At least, I don't have to look at Kuwabara's face when I talk to Kurama." Hiei's eyes remained shut as he spoke.
Karasu: Heh. That's a good one, Hiei.
"Why, you little shrimp!" Kuwabara glowered. Shizuru socked him at the side of his head to make him behave.
"Shizuru-san!" Kurama looked distressed.
"Oops... sorry, Kurama-kun, I keep forgetting that that's your body Kazu's in."
Kuwabara yawned noisily. Kurama looked embarrassed. "Since we can't figure out what's going on, I think I'll go and sleep for a while," Kuwabara stated. "Hopefully by the time I wake up, things will be back to normal. Kurama, I want you to go to bed too. My body needs its rest!"
Karasu: Ru-chan, can we turn Kurama normal again!
Rurouni: Uhm… ok, go ahead.
Karasu: I'll end of the fic while I'm at it too... heheh...
Rurouni: Why do I get the feeling that I'll regret this?
After Kuwabara had been put to bed, Kurama, Hiei, Shizuru and Yuusuke resumed their discussion of this serious problem at hand.
Karasu: Face it, which one of you wouldn't want to put Kurama's body in bed?
"I think I know what happened." Both Yuusuke and Shizuru turned to look at Hiei. "Kuwabara has some ESP powers of some sort right? I figured that maybe he was dreaming about how much he wanted to be like Kurama when-"
"I catch your drift, so you're saying that Kuwabara's ESP powers caused the body-switch because his mind willed it to happen in his dreams?" Kurama continued.
Shizuru sighed. "Baka."
"Well, things should be back to normal when he wakes up. I'm sure after today he'll never dream of being Kurama again." Yuusuke sniggered. And he was right.
The next morning, things were back to normal in the Minamino household. Kurama was greatly relieved when he woke up in his own bed and saw his own face in his mirror. He looked out of the window to where Hiei was sleeping on the branch of a nearby tree and smiled. Just like Hiei to do that. Just then, there came a tremendous crash and a string of curses. Kurama rushed over to the window and peered down at the fallen little koorime.
"Hiei? Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?
"Kuso! Who put me on that tree?!" Hiei screeched then looked down at himself... "Oh no! Not again!"
Over at the Kuwabara's residence, an unearthly scream was heard. "KUWABARAAAAAA!!!"
Hiei: Hn. That was a lousy ending if it ever was
one. Downright stupid.
Karasu: It's perfect! That way, you'll be occupied with Kuwabara and vice versa and Yuusuke will be too busy laughing and I can have Kurama all to myself.
Rurouni: [sigh] I knew that there had to be a setback when you offered to help me write the fic.