One fine night in a blood splattered Kyoto our great hero, Shinsengumi's third captain of the troupe Saitou Hajime was walking among the corpses with a few of his henchmen when a flash of red catches his eye.
Saitou: Ah, here comes the light of my boring Shinsengumi life... Battousai...
Soon, they engage in a war of the wits, eventually breaking down in laughter and Aoshi jumping in out of nowhere to join them.
Talking with each other in lightened tones yet frowning at the same time, the onnas of our heros appear to question the actual vindictiveness of our three heros...
Misao: Are you really enemies?
Tokio: I have a feeling you're all just pretending...
Aoshi, Battousai and Saitou stares.
They draw swords.
Battousai: Let's show them who's pretending!
A cloud of dust forms
Inside the cloud of dust...
Aoshi: Keep stamping... don't let this dust disappear...
Saitou: I know, son, you don't have to keep telling us that.
Battousai: Hey will you guys stop pulling my hair?
Saitou: Can't help it, you've got the longest hair around.
Battousai: Leggo me hair! I'm outta here! This doesn't involve me anyway...
My life's not at stake.
Aoshi: Hmm... the dust has just thickened.
Battousai: That's coz your onnas are inside helping you create this dust.
Aoshi: Battousai... is that your onna beside you?
Battousai: Don't joke, she's... dead...
Saitou: I don't think he's joking...
Battousai: (covers his eyes) I'm not looking. I'm not looking.
Aoshi: You're afraid?
Saitou: of your onna?
Battousai: Aren't we all?
Aoshi and Saitou: Good point.
Battousai: You guys continue stepping with your onnas. I'm going home.
Saitou: ... you have no home.
Battousai: Yeh... i keep forgetting... must have been years since...*remembers Tomoe's smile...* Well, in that case, I'll go around looking for one. I'm 19 years old now... come look for me again, Saitou, in about 9 to10 years... mayhaps in Edo or something.
Saitou: You got a deal.
Aoshi: I'll try to find you there too.
*Battousai chucks his katana in the ground and walks away*
Saitou: Let's have a contest.
Saitou: See which one of us gets to kill that scrawny brat first in ten years time.
Aoshi: How about which one of us gets to stay alive after 10 years when
onnas are through with us...I think I'll leave Misao in Okina's hands and go work for some rich spoiled brat.
Saitou: Maybe if I become a policeman, Tokio wouldn't mind me being
Aoshi: but the Shinsengumi are police.
Saitou: Yeh... but Meiji is coming...
*Battousai turns around to look at them*
Aoshi: Did I just see purple eyes?
Saitou: Maybe you made a mistake.
Aoshi: Now explain that.
Battousai: ~waves~ Sayonara! Ogenkide!
Saitou: Oh great! He's finally snapped!
Aoshi: After killing at the people he did, at such a young age too,
think he should have snapped sooner...
Saitou: Yah, then he wouldn't give the Shinsengumi so much trouble.
Aoshi: Give him 10 years.
Aoshi: 10 years to be a rurouni, I bet my life that's what's he's going to do now, I'll ask Shakku to give him a sakabatou, so that he can continue using his skills instead of letting them go to waste and yet not kill.
Saitou: I still don't get you.
Aoshi: We'll see which one of us manages to turn him back to Hitokiri
Battousai after 10 years of rurouning...
Saitou: Alright! You're on!
*they walk down the street*
Aoshi: Say, isn't it about time we got a haircut?
Saitou: Now that you've mentioned it...
Aoshi: Is your onna good with hair? I want a nice haircut with bangs cover my eyes to highlight my coolness. I suggest you try that hairstyle over there. ~pointing ahead~
Saitou: That's a crab, it doesn't have hair. Still, not a bad idea...hmm...do you think crab-like fringe will suit me?
Aoshi: Of course, you're crap anyway.
Saitou: *glares* Speak for yourself. Look at that pathetic little ponytail on your head.
Aoshi: Why you...
Saitou: As you wish, I'm going to the saloon now.
Aoshi: Yeyeyey, just lead the way.
Saitou: Pathetic little ponytail, so little hair...
Aoshi: About as pathetic as yours...
Saitou: When you look at Battousai's ponytail...
Aoshi: I think I'll jump into a certain Round Robin to hack off his hair... (please refer to the untitled Round Robin situated at http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Pagoda/7767/ and scroll right down...)
Saitou: Ok, see you there!
Aoshi: After I get my hair cut...
Saitou: You'd better not make too much noise though, I have a duty to perform.
Aoshi: Hn, since when have you heard me making noise?
Saitou: You do make a lot of noise, Shinomori.
Saitou: Here we are.
Aoshi: I go first.
Saitou: Not on my life!
Aoshi: Fine! Then I'll take it!
Saitou: We can't be fighting yet, we haven't cut our hair?!
Aoshi: True and we have to wait till the 11th year of the Meiji era...meanwhile, I'll have to work for some rich jerk named Takeda Kanryuu.
Saitou: And I'll have to marry Tokio, change my name to Fujita Goro, join the police force...
Aoshi: Whatever whatever... now let go of my hair.
*both simmers down*
Aoshi: See you in ten!
Saitou: hai hai. I think I'll go get Shishio riled up in the meantime. Add more charcoal to the fire...
Aoshi: Okay... my hair's done. Good luck on yours.
Saitou: Ha-i ha-i...
Ten years later...
Saitou: Osu! Shinomori-san!
Aoshi: Konnichiwa, Saitou Hajime, moto Shinsengumi sanbandai kuichou (just for the sound)
Saitou: Watashi wa Fujita Goro desu. A member of the police force now.
Aoshi: I can see that, dumb uniform you have. I don't envy you. Anyway, here's the address of Himura Battousai, calls himself Rurouni Kenshin these days. He's hiding under a lady's skirt in her dojo, Kamiya Kaoru's her name.
Saitou: Arigatou, I'll pay them a visit soon.
Aoshi: Good luck, hope you survive to see the sunrise.
Saitou: Save the luck for the light of my Shinsengumi life...
Aoshi: Battousai will live. His life belongs to me.
Saitou: Big talk.
Saitou: Now then... how do I draw the Battousai out of this Rurouni...
Aoshi: That's easy. Catch the girl.
Saitou: Tomoe-san wasn't dead??
Aoshi: No no, it's a new one now... boy is that man fickle...
Saitou: Hmm...I agree, he was flirting with me during my Shinsengumi days, all those heavy looks he cast my way...
Aoshi: What did you call him? The light of your boring Shinsengumi life...
Okita: HAHAHAHAHA!!! That was just Hajime's hyper-imaginative mind. The looks he cast were actually for me...
Saitou: O-Okita?! Aren't you supposed to be dead?
Aoshi: I see you have had a hair-cut too.
Okita: Hai hai! I'm speaking through the body of my half-brother, Seta
Couldn't beat my lovely Himura itoshii's beautiful red tresses, so I might as well cut them off.
Saitou: What?! You mean your secret lover was...
Okita: (smiles) Soudesu!
Aoshi: But you said this was the body of...
Okita: Oh yah, I made Soujirou cut it off.
Saitou: But he was about 17 and you were about 24...his wife just dead
2 years ago...
Aoshi: Told you he was fickle...
Okita: What?! He had a wife?! Ok, that does it, Sou-chan, please go ahead with your job...I'm leaving now...
Soujirou: Ara? Why am I here? I was supposed to be trailing Himura-san on Shishio's orders.
Aoshi and Saitou: ...
Soujirou: Ara?! Why is my hair... *looks at the two of them* ARARA?
anyone mind filling me in on the details?
Saitou: You don't want to be filled in, I assure you...
Aoshi: Too young for all these stuff anyway...
Saitou: What's the age limit?
Aoshi: Twenty-one, right?
Saitou: Anyway, Shinomori, thanks for the info. I think I'll send that Omega Red wannabe to lure Battousai out now while I take over the dojo for a while...
Aoshi: Okay. I'll be at the graves of my Oniwabanshuu-mates should you need me.
Soujirou: MATTE! Don't walk away! I STILL want to know what's going on!
Aoshi: Be quiet Soujirou, your hair has always been short anyway.
Saitou: Yes, if you're not quiet I'll have to soku zan you for the aku noise you are creating.
Aoshi: That's his duty now. Maintaining peace and quiet.
Saitou: You shut up as well.
Aoshi: Hn. Shinsengumi wa Shinsengumi, Okami wa Okami, soshite, crab wa crab. Daru, Soujirou?
Soujirou: Ara? What in the world are you talking about? What age limit? What crap? Hey! Don't just walk off like that!
Soujirou stares at the two figures receding into the sunlight.
Soujirou: Oh well. I'll just go spy on Himura-san again.
*hiding in a corner*
Shishio: What do you think of him?
Saitou: Well... innocent enough...
Shishio: Of course, I personally took him in for ten years.
Aoshi: But you're not innocent.
Shishio: Shut up. I just wanted an opinion. Do you think he's suitable for the job?
Saitou: As long as Okubo-kyo doesn't mind...
Aoshi: He'll do...for now...
Saitou: Battousai has always loved kids...
Aoshi: If only he were around to babysit Misao in my time...
Misao: [aside] Oh, Soujirou-sama looks quite handsome too! If he had babysitted me...