Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin characters belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki. This is purely for entertainment purposes, no profit is being made out of it. Do not distribute it in any form.

Verbal Match

By Pan and Rurouni
July 1998

The cool Hiko Seijuurou and the hot Shishio Makoto have been engaging in a battle of wits that have gone on for hours on stretch...

Hiko: blah blah blah blah... hang on... BAKA DESHI! Get me some water!

Baka deshi: Demo shishou...

Shishio: No no, don't get it from that out-dated hitokiri, ask me for the water!

Hiko: No way, yours is no better than my baka deshi's.

Baka deshi: Shishou...

Hiko: Why are you still here?! Didn't you hear what I say? Get-me-some-water!

Kenshin: ~sulks~ But Shishio Makoto has water. Why not get it from him instead of making me walk all the way to that particular river in that particular forest...

Hiko: Did I say you can walk?! You jolly well run!

Shishio: Run along Battousai...lest your Shishou gets angry...

Kenshin: He's always angry with me anyway...

Hiko: Am I always not?

Kenshin: Shishou... all right all right... I'll go...

(he comes back one hour later to find Hiko and Shishio still talking to each other)

Kenshin: Shishio...are you hot? (Holds a bucket of water threateningly above his head.)

Shishio: Why thank you, if you do that, I can last another 15 minutes.

Kenshin: What? Matte...hang on... ~goes and boil the water first~

Shishio: It makes no difference, Battousai. I'm hotter than boiling water.

Kenshin: Now if you'd kindly step into the cauldron...

Shishio: My my, senpai, you don't believe that I'd be so stupid would you?

Kenshin: I had hoped...that some of your grey matter got burnt up...

Shishio: Yours have burnt out more than mine.

Hiko: In the first place, do you think he has any to burn?

Shishio: Shut up.

Kenshin: Well said!

Hiko: Why should I keep mum and let you rattle on like a parrot, especially after the way you bite my baka deshi...

Shishio: As long as I'm hungry...

Hiko: But my deshi probably doesn't taste nice at all!

Shishio: That's why I spat his flesh out after biting him...

Kenshin: SHISHOU! SHISHIO!!!! Enough about my meat... let's... talk about something else.

Shishio: Okay. Tell me how many times you've been mistaken for a girl.

Hiko: You don't want to know...

Shishio: Battousai...you're a sight for sore eyes...especially with your fiery hair fluttering wildly in the summer breeze...

Kenshin: CUT! Let's not go in that direction! Next topic please.

Hiko: That's just one of the snags for being a bishounen, baka deshi.

Kenshin: *wails* But I didn't want to be born as a bishounen...

Shishio: Come 'ere, Battousai. Maybe if I set you on fire, your bishounen status will be gone...

Kenshin: No way! Don't you dare come any closer! I'll pull what's left of your hair out if you even take one step to...I'm serious! ~shrieks~ STAY AWAY!!! No! I don't want to be mummified!

Shishio: *takes a step closer anyway*

Kenshin: I... erm... Shishou? Help?

Shishio: This is a bishounen's problem, Hiko, don't you come any closer.

Hiko: And don't I qualify as a bishonen? [Everyone falls over in the backdrop.]

The End.